Homefree - An Alternate Homestuck Story
by xX Jason Smith Xx
Summary: Four will gather, the Knight of Space and the Sage of Life, the Heir of Time and the Bard of Gust, and together, they will ascend! This is basically and all OC alternate Homestuck, so if you don't like the OCs, then don't read. Minor romantic pairings, but it is more towards the middle. Rated T for cursing and violence.
1. Act 1 Section 1 Part 1

_**Homefree**_

Act 1

Section 1

Part 1

_Act 1-SBURB 1.0_

**Homefree.**

A young man stands in his bedroom. Today, the 13th of April, is the day that this one man will do something great. He has no idea what he is going to do today, so technically you don't know either, although I told you about the…never mind. Now, this young man actually has no name. At least, you think he doesn't. He might actually have a name, but it isn't official because it isn't on his birth certificate. Oh, look at that. Getting off topic again. Now, give him a name.

**Enter name.**

FLABBY GRUBBUTT

Hell no!

**Try again.**

JASON BLACK

That seems more fitting for this man.

**Jason: Examine room.  
**

This is your room. The walls are covered in posters of your favorite games and movies, and you have a desk with a HackBook Bro laptop on the wall by the window. Opposite to it is your bed, which is pretty plain, and isn't worth describing, because it would make this story about ten to twenty words longer. You have a well-known hate for puppets and stuffed animals of all sorts. You often play video games on the computer and spend most of your days in your room. Here in the suburbs with your Bro, things aren't really very interesting. You have been long awaiting this day, for it is the day you finally receive the game you orders a couple months ago: SBURB. The game's beta testing finished a few years ago, but the game was delayed due to major bugs and extra content addition after testing. Now, we take you live to the time where we actually get things done.

**Jason: Retrieve arms from pumpkin in the corner.**

What pumpkin? You see no pumpkin, and it is hard to believe that there was any pumpkin within the general vicinity of your room at any time, because you cannot grow any sort of plant, and plants can't seem to grow around here. The local supermarket doesn't even sell pumpkins. Besides, your arms were already attached to your body by muscle, bone, skin, and tissue a little longer than thirteen years ago. And you absolutely hate pumpkins. Along with puppets and stuffed animals, of course.

**Jason: Check computer.**

All right then. You twist your head to take a look at your computer on the desk. You Pesterchum application is flashing, which means that you have a message from one of your chums.

**Jason: Answer chum.**

incompetentDude [ID] began pestering mentallyChallenged [MC] at 13:13

ID: hey man, whats goin up in that little suburban lifestyle of yours

MC: SBURB is what's happening up in this suburban lifestyle of mine.

ID: did you get it yet?

MC: Nope, but I'm about to. I just got to go check the mailbox. The truck came this morning.

ID: alright, maybe you can play it with HP

ID: shes been bothering me about the game since the second she got it

ID: i still dont have mine, but it should come soon

MC: Cool. Well, I'll try to get HP to stop breathing down your neck by playing the dang game with her.  
ID: thanks

MC: No problem. Been wanting to play it since I ordered it anyways.

ID: see you in a few

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 13:16

**Jason: Exit room into hallway.**

Past your room is a short hallway, which branches off to the room where you bro does his DJ stuff to the right, and the game room to the left. There are many puppets scattered about that your brother inherited from his brother who is actually his dad. You utterly detest these stuffed sacks of filth and…disgusting plush rumps. You never really understood why the puppets had bottoms that had to be all jutting out and impudent and whatnot. Bro claims that he hates them too, but you doubt that highly.

**Jason: Make your way to the front door, posthaste!**

You scramble for the door with wild abandon but you are stopped by your Bro. He retrieves his katana from his Strife Deck. You feel that you are vaguely aware of what is about to take place. You retrieve your double-edged longsword from your Strife Deck and ready yourself for…

**Jason: STRIFE!**

The longsword clashes with the katana as you and Bro duel in the living room. He begins the showcase of badassery with some of his badass acrobatics. As he flips over you, you move your sword in a position to block the strike that your Bro is about to make to your back. The sound of metal on metal rings through the living room and you turn to make a counterattack. Your blade connects with his and you jump back to the door. Then he performs more badassery and appears behind you. You block just in time and stare him down, as he gives you the signal for a silent truce. You stand down and sheathe you sword and place it back into your Strife Deck. Bro does the same, and gives you a small nod. The nod is returned, and he disappears in a final display of badassery.

**Jason: Get some snacks from the fridge in the kitchen.**

After the intense conflict with Bro, you start to feel a gaping hole in your stomach. Travelling to the kitchen from the living room is a short trip. You walk over to the fridge, place your hand on the handle and brace yourself for the flood of those mad snacks, yo.

**Jason: Mad snacks, yo!**

The delicious, fun-filled Fruit Gushers spill out of the fridge with a passion. A desire. A hunger. A goddamn storm of raging Fruit Gushers! Quickly captchaloging several packets, you split one open and let fly with all of those fucking fruit-filled beauties. The resulting taste in your mouth is one that cannot compare with any other. It is the taste of victory. It is the taste of freedom. It is the taste of justice. It is the taste of GODDAMN GUSHERS! You love these things.

**Jason: Go back upstairs and talk to ID.**

Deciding to put off the retrieval of the game for a while, you sprint back up the stairs and pass the threshold that separates your room from the rest of the house. Crashing into your chair, you pull up to your desk and begin pestering ID again.

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 14:01

MC: Hello once again, my fellow asshole.

ID: oh

ID: hi there jason

MC: Wassup?

ID: still getting pushed around by HP

MC: Ah. Is she being the little insufferable prick that we have all come to know and love?

ID: that she is, jason, that she is

MC: Well then, I better talk to her.

ID: wait

ID: have you gotten the game yet?

MC: No. I had a run-in with Bro, and then a craving for some mad snacks.

ID: and by that i can only assume that you are referring to your beautiful gushers

MC: I am in fact referring to those same beautiful Gushers.

ID: aw shit man, i just bought a pack today

ID: gonna have to break into it and imbibe like the wind

MC: All right then. You do that. I'm going to go have a talk with HP.

ID: good

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 14:05

**Jason: Pester HP.**

_A/N: I think I did pretty well for the first chapter. Let me know in the review section guys! Thanks for reading, and I hope you continue reading this story over the long 15-17 Acts it will be stretching. With intermissions, of course. :3_

_~Jason Smith, Writer and Editor of Homefree_


	2. Act 1 Section 1 Part 2

_**Homefree**_

Act 1

Section 1

Part 2

**Jason: Pester HP.**

You select HP's name in the Pesterchum window and then hit the Pester button.

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:06

MC: Hello, hello my dear friend. How might you be on this fine, bright, godawfully awesome day?

HP: I'm quite all right, and thanks for asking.

MC: I have come to discuss the topic of your ceaseless irritation of ID.

HP: Has he been begging for me to stop? Because if he has, then the answer is no. At least, not until he plays SBURB with me.

MC: He doesn't even have the game yet!

HP: What about you?

MC: It currently resides within the dark depths of the mailbox in the front yard. I can retrieve it if you like, although there may be another run-in with Bro in it for me.

HP: Excellent. I will patiently await your return, and I expect the game to be in your possession by then.

MC: Right then. Off I go, to the mailbox, which may be my eventual doom.

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:08

**Jason: Offwards! The mail awaits!**

You begin the trek back downstairs and are about to reach the door when you are stopped by your Bro, as you predicted. He retrieves his katana, and you grab your longsword. The battle of badassery begins once more.

**Jason: STRIFE!**

The two opposing swords come together in relentless combinations of techniques that only you and your Bro have ever mastered. You are almost always on the defensive, as he is way better than you at this. Block after block, you feel yourself beginning to tire. He just isn't going to stop this time, is he? Well then, you're going to have to end it for him. Whilst performing one of the badass acrobatic skills your Bro taught you, you land behind him and assault him from the rear, landing countless blows to his sword, which he is using to block very efficiently without looking. You manage to perform a rarely attempted, highly effective, and very dangerous x20 blade-master combo, which sends his katana spinning through the air. The blade impales itself into the wall, giving you ample time to escape Bro once more. You run out the front door and shut it behind you.

**Jason: Look around.**

You turn your head in several directions and then focus on the mailbox.

**Jason: Stop being a smartass and observe the great outdoors.**

You see multiple more houses down the street on which you live. There really isn't much to observe, other than the tree with the tire swing and the mailbox with the red-swingy-deally-thing flipped up. Your yard is just so goddamn boring, you wish you could just, you know, sprinkle it with a few rainbows here and there and make the sun shine brighter. There is, unfortunately, nothing that can be done for this lawn. It has already died, along with the rest of this town. You utterly despise it here, and wish you could just live out in the middle of nowhere without anyone else around.

**Jason: Approach the mailbox in a cautious manner.**

You cautiously approach the mailbox in the most cautious manner you know how to approach it in. In other words, you bolt straight for the box of mail and skid to a stop before its great, tiny, hinged swinging door.

**Jason: Retrieve SBURB from the mailbox.**

You reach out for the envelopes that contain the game, slowly but surely moving your hand towards it, WHEN SUDDENLY THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE THERE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLACE.

**And just who the fuck is this?**

You really have no idea.

**Hello there.**

A young woman stands in her bedroom. Today, the 13th of April, is the day that this woman has been looking forwards to, because of the release of a certain game she has been awaiting since it was announced back in early January. Now, she does not have a name because her father is just that sort of careless bastard and doesn't have time for any of that nonsense. Out of sympathy for her lack of a name, you decide to give her one. What will her name be?

**Enter name.**

CANDYLIPS GASPUMP

And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

**Try again.**

ALAYNA HARLEM

What a brilliant name!

**Alayna: Examine room.**

This is complete bullshit. You don't have a room. Hell, you have a whole house to yourself. This is just the room with the bed in it. All of the interesting stuff is out in the foyer.

**Alayna: Go to foyer.**

You exit your room in the grand foyer. This is where you spend most of your time.

**Alayna: Examine foyer.**

The walls are covered with exquisite paintings depicting scenes from several games that you have played over the years. You hardly do anything but play games. It is life to you. You have played great games, such as _Problem Sleuth, Bard Quest, Jailbreak, _and even rare titles like _The Legend of Lemmings_ and _Gaylow._ They never get old. But then there are games like _Call of Doody: Modern Shitfare_ and _Gas Effect _that have just become obsolete in their own right. Enough about games. Let's get to the action!

**Alayna: Go to computer desk.**

You have a sit down in your huge computer chair and turn to face your gaming computer. It is an iHack that your friend Jason's brother made. You boot it up and open the Pesterchum application. You see that ID is online. Time for payback for not playing any _Gaylow_ with you a few weeks back.

**Alayna: Pester ID.**

heavenlyPsychopath [HP] began pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 13:00

HP: Hello there ID.

ID: oh god no what do you want from me HP

HP: I have been well informed of today's events and I am aware that the highly touted SBURB 1.0 has been released to public today. Am I right?

ID: um, yeah, why?

HP: You are going to play it with me.

ID: but i dont have it yet!

HP: Then go get it.

ID: the truck hasnt even come yet

HP: Better tell it to hurry up, or that piece of shit you call a PC is going to crash and burn.

ID: oh shit dont you dare threaten my pc

HP: I just did.

ID: goddammit

HP: Get it done, ID. Get. It. Done.

ID: yes sir!

heavenlyPsychopath [HP] ceased pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 13:05

**Alayna: Realization.**

Wait just one goddamn second. Did that little fucker just call you a sir? Oh, hell no he did not. That little fucker is going to pay dearly this time. Oh hell yes he is.

**Alayna: Play some games!**

You play a bit of _Shizilization V _on your computer until Pesterchum flashes. It looks like someone is messaging you.

**Alayna: Respond immediately.**

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:06

MC: Hello, hello my dear friend. How might you be on this fine, bright, godawfully awesome day?

HP: I'm quite all right, and thanks for asking.

MC: I have come to discuss the topic of your ceaseless irritation of ID.

HP: Has he been begging for me to stop? Because if he has, then the answer is no. At least, not until he plays SBURB with me.

MC: He doesn't even have the game yet!

HP: What about you?

MC: It currently resides within the dark depths of the mailbox in the front yard. I can retrieve it if you like, although there may be another run-in with Bro in it for me.

HP: Excellent. I will patiently await your return, and I expect the game to be in your possession by then.

MC: Right then. Off I go, to the mailbox, which may be my eventual doom.

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:08

**Alayna: Patiently await return.**

You patiently await Jason's return.

**Reader: Become Jason again.**

_A/N: All right then! Second chapter is done! I feel accomplished. I am actually getting something done in this little hellhole of life I am stuck in. I would also like to thank __**ninjaarchitect1998 **__for beta-reading all of this! Well, have fun until I get the next chapter out and remember kids; don't shizzle where you pizzle._

_~Jason Smith, Writer and Editor of Homefree_


	3. Act 1 Section 1 Part 3

_**Homefree**_

Act 1

Section 1

Part 3

**Reader: Become Jason again.**

You are now Jason again.

**Jason: Grab SBURB envelopes.**

You firmly grasp the envelopes within your fingers. This feels so much better than you thought it would feel. It's like touching God or something. It just feels downright great to finally have the game!

**Jason: Get ambushed!**

Your brother appears again, katana in hand. Shoving the envelopes into your sylladex, you draw out your sword and prepare to go through this one more time.

**Jason: STRIFE!**

Bro gets straight to business, performing all of that aerobic bullshit he calls skill, but you don't need any of that. All you need is a good arm, a good blade, and some good luck. The sharp edged metal swords collide in another furious hurricane of flying blades and flailing limbs. Bro is not doing as well as he was the first or second time, but he is still managing to keep you at bay. You don't know what's gotten into him today. He's turned into a goddamn animal. Relentlessly, you block his seemingly endless blows while landing a couple of your own. After some more blocking and a little bit of fancy footwork, you make your way around him, with your back now to the door. Either he's got you, or you've got him. You can escape now, or you can keep going and get to the bottom of all of the fighting the two of you have done today. As an effort to get him to surrender, you sweep your blade under him, knocking him off of his feet, leaving him on the ground. Sword pointed at his neck, he gives a silent surrender and disappears into the house again.

**Jason: Question Bro's actions.**

You've never seen him get this aggressive since a couple months back when you drank all of the apple juice. Was it something you did? The only thing you remember doing in relation to him was strifing a couple of times for the hell of it. You never screwed with any of his shit, and he didn't screw with any of yours. So, what the hell is going on here?

**Jason: Get back to Alayna.**

You make a silent trek back to your room and shut the door behind you. After collapsing into the chair, you realize just how exhausting strifing him all day had been. It had certainly taken its toll on both you and Bro. Snatching another pack of Fruit Gushers from your sylladex, you decide to get rid of the Array modus that you've been using and program a new one real quick.

**Jason: Open BroCoder v.2.3**

You open a computer coding application you and Bro developed, along with a new type of code, called BR0C0D3. You type in many strings of code and make sure that this is going to be the best goddamn sylladex ever.

**Jason: Burn code to a Captcha Drive.**

You finish off the code and burn it to a fresh Captcha Drive, which you use to store newly programmed fetch modi. You title your newly developed fetch modus Analysis.

**Jason: Insert Analysis modus into sylladex.**

You pop in the Analysis Captcha Drive into your Sylladex block, which turns it into a bright metallic silver color. You can now retrieve items by describing them with size, color, shape, use, design, and many other features. This has got to be the best thing ever.

**Jason: Pester Alayna.**

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:14

MC: I am finally back with the game.

HP: Great. What took you so long?

MC: Ran into Bro two more times. Not sure what's gotten into him today.

HP: Neither am I. But that is besides the point. Are you ready to get going?

MC: Hell yeah I am.

HP: Wait. Something is going on.

MC: What is it?

HP: Be back in a second.

**Alayna: STRIFE!**

Oh yeah. You almost forgot. The goddamn shroom addict lives here with you. He pulls out a bread knife, and you pull out your family heirloom: a wand that has been passed down through the family. The extent of its powers are unknown. Hell, even your ancestors didn't even know what it could do. But you damn well know the basics, and begin to shoot bolts of water at the shroom addict, or your father, as he is uncommonly referred to. He deftly dodges the slow moving projectiles and lunges at you with the bread knife. Sidestepping, you jab him in the side with your left hand and he makes a wild grab for you. You step out of the way of that as well, and then knock him back with a blast of steaming hot water. He quickly recovers and, in an act of desperation, throws the bread knife at you. It lodges itself into the wall behind you. Another blast of water, served cold this time, hits the shroom addict square in the chest and throws him against the wall. It appears a successful knockout has been achieved. I win this time bitch. And don't you forget it you little goddamn high-assed shroom fucking addict. Now, back to Jason.

**Alayna: Continue pestering Jason.**

HP: All right, I'm back.

MC: Good. What was that anyways?

HP: My father. He has a way of sneaking up on me when I least expect it.

MC: Ah. I see. You often speak highly of your father.

HP: No shit Sherlock.

MC: Ready for SBURB yet?

HP: More than ever.

_End of Section 1_

_A/N: Well, it may be a while between now and Section 2, so don't stick to this story. Go read something else while I work on Section 2. That isn't the only thing to be working on, unfortunately. I have an education to turn my attention to. Until then, see you guys later._

_~Jason Smith, Writer and Editor of Homefree_


	4. Act 1 Section 2 Part 1

_**Homefree**_

Act 1

Section 2

Part 1

**Jason: Insert SBURB client disk.**

You insert the disk and prepare yourself for…what? What the fuck is this shit? This isn't goddamn Windows XP here. This is supposed to be the game of the year! This is supposed to be SBURB! And all you get as a start screen is this shitty command prompt? Goddammit.

**Jason: Throw your hat down in disgust.**

You aren't wearing a hat.

**Jason: Look at Pesterchum.**

HP: Jason.

HP: Hit enter.

HP: Jason.

HP: Jason!

HP: JASON!

MC: Okay, okay, I'm hitting enter.

HP: Good. We will be getting started then.

**Jason: SBURB.**

Alright. Now THIS is what you're talking about! This is the exact sort of needless flashy loading screen you've come to expect from a game as awesome as this one! Hell. Fucking. YES!

**Jason: Talk to HP some more.**

HP: We're in.

HP: I'm looking at a game FAQ from someone who played the beta about fifteen years back and…oh shit.

MC: What?

HP: Apparently, according to the FAQ, which is by a lady by the name of Rose Lalonde, this game will inevitably be your doom.

MC: Oh great. Just goddamn fucking wonderful. It's like getting a bucket of piss on each day of Christmas, only that bucket of piss is actually a goddamn time bomb set to destroy Earth as we know it.

HP: Precisely. The only hitch is, if you can enter the game fast enough, you can survive the meteor's impact.

MC: Oh, so it's a meteor? Great. Now, instead of piss bucket-shaped time bombs, we got giant hurtling space rocks. If I can save myself from death by space rock, which honestly isn't the best way to go out, then we should get to work.

HP: I will start deploying the necessary objects needed to enter the game.

MC: You do that.

**Jason: Hear a few loud crashes.**

You hear three loud crashes in quick succession, and then a small plop, near you. You look down at the ground and spot what looks to be a captchalogue card with holes in it. Okay, this seems to be going down a route that you may or may not understand. Shit.

**Jason: Captchalogue the punched card.**

You captchalogue the card, which appears to be holding an apple. A dark green, motherfucking shiny, goddamn apple. This just gets better by the second. You can only assume something will happen when you consume this apple, but you cannot be sure until you take a bite of that revolting looking apple.

**Jason: Go investigate loud crashes.**

You run out to the living room and spot three strange devices out in the middle, with all of the furniture now occupying other random areas of the room.

**Jason: Investigate devices that caused loud crashes.**

You step up to the first device, which appears to be a small pipe with a valve and a timer on the base. The timer reads _00:12:15_. That cannot be good in any way, shape, or form. You guess that this counts down to the time the meteor crashes. Great. Just…just great. There is nothing else to say on the matter. You think HP is pestering you again.

**Jason: Answer HP.**

You run back upstairs and answer you chum.

HP: The FAQ says to open the pipe-like device by turning the valve. Then you use the dowel that pops out to carve a totem, which is accomplished by placing the dowel in the clamp of the sowing-machine-device-thing and then placing the punched captchalogue card into the slot on the left side. You press a couple buttons and it carves the totem. Then you place the totem on the pedestal on the platform device and you push a few more buttons. The apple is created, and then you eat it.

HP: Jason? Did you get that?

MC: Yeah. I got it.

HP: You know, instead of running back and forth, you could have just used your phone.

**Jason: Facepalm x2 Combo.**

You gracefully perform an ill-mannered and self-punishing Facepalm x2 Combo.

**Jason: Pull out phone and continue to talk to HP.**

You pull out your BroPhone SUBURBAN XIV. You love Bro's inventions. They are so goddamn COOL!

MC: Alright then. I'll go perform the series of tasks necessary to saving my ass.

HP: Good. I will continue to read the FAQs for further information.

MC: Keep me posted.

HP: Will do.

**Jason: Perform series of seemingly pointless tasks.**

You follow HP's advice until you reach a standstill on the first step. The goddamn valve won't turn. It looks like something is pushing up on the lid on the pipe, but you can't seem to get it out.

MC: I can't open the pipe-thing.

HP: Oh yeah. The FAQ mentioned an inability to open the Cruxtruder, which is what that is called. One moment.

**Jason: Stare in awe.**

You successfully stare in awe as Alayna proceeds to drop a fucking couch on the lid of the Cruxtruder. It bursts open and the dowel she mentioned popped out. Another object popped out too.

**Jason: Examine the other object.**

This is a giant fucking floating spirographical ball of green floating shiny awesomeness. You love this ball. This ball is so baller, you could turn it into a beach ball. Your chum is nagging at you again.

HP: That is the kernelsprite. You have to toss something into it to 'prototype' it.

MC: Okay then. Let me find something good.

**Jason: Find something to prototype kernelsprite with.**

Your eyes begin the search for an awesome object, but they then lock onto an object that brings only one word to mind that is floating towards the kernelsprite. That word is trauma, and that object is one of the impudent, jutting out, and bulbous puppets. You shake your head in disgust and move to intercept.

**Jason: Leap of Faith!**

You perform one of your most dangerous moves: Aerobic Badassery Level 99: Leap of Faith. With a great step forwards, you bound into the air and snatch the puppet from the cursor's grasp. With the successful interception and retrieval of the impudent puppet, you reward yourself with more Gushers. Damn, these things are so good.

**Jason: Quickly toss one of your spare fetch modi at the kernelsprite.**

Before Alayna can do anything more stupid than tossing puppets at the kernelsprite, you chuck the Array modus at the kernelsprite. Oh wait. Shit. You watch in horror as another puppet flies into the kernelsprite, followed by the array modus. God fucking damnit.

**Jason: Place dowel into clamp and card into slot, then push buttons.**

You clamp the dowel into place with the vice-like part of the machine. Then you insert the card into the slot on the left side of the machine, and then press a couple of buttons. A strange looking carving blade appears over the clamp. The dowel begins to spin at an incredible speed, and as the blade touches the dowel, the spinning stops. The carved dowel has been created.

**Jason: Retrieve dowel, and make haste to the platform device!**

You snatch the dowel from its former prison and slam it onto the pedestal. After pressing a few more buttons, an object begins to take shape on the platform device. It appears to be the same object that was on the punched card. The apple shines beneath the bright lightbulbs on the ceiling.

**Jason: Check timer.**

Oh shit! The timer now reads _00:01:07_! Not good, not good at all. You decide to consult Alayna for advice.

MC: Okay, the timer is saying I've got a minute. Now, what do I do?

HP: It's simple; eat the apple.

MC: What, that green shiny metallic-looking piece of shit?

HP: Yes, that green shiny metallic-looking piece of shit. Now, bon appetite.

MC: Okay.

**Jason: Eat apple as last possible opportunity.**

You grab the apple and stare at the timer. You wait until it reads _00:00:05_, and then you plunge the apple into the depths of your mouth and chew vigorously. Alayna sends you one last message.

HP: Don't die Jason. We need you. _I_ need you.

At _00:00:00_, everything goes dark.


	5. Act 1 Section 2 Part 2

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I have been overwhelmed by the freedom of summer and completely forgot about this for months! But here it is, so enjoy. :D_

_**Homefree**_

Act 1

Section 2

Part 2

**Alayna: Think about Jason's sudden disappearance.**

Where the hell did he go? Well, wherever he is, he better be coming back. You could hardly imagine life without the little fucker you have come to call a friend. He has come to be quite comforting when you were pissed at your bastard of a father, or pissed at anything, now that you think of it. He was always there for you, and… and now you're becoming a sappy romantic twat like goddamn Edward from Twilight. Fuck. You regret ever having read those books. They should all be burned at the stake. ALL OF THEM.

**Alayna: Mental breakdown.**

Not right now. Maybe later, if Jason doesn't come back.

**Alayna: Begin epic montage of time passage!**

You begin to launch into the greatest time-passing video gaming montage of your teenage life, when all of a sudden, you see what appears to be another boy in front of you. And by that, the author is trying to tell you that you are no longer Alayna, but instead, you are…

**Enter name.**

VICTORIA SECRET

You fucked up little pervert. He isn't even a girl, much less a women's underwear model, for crying out loud!

**Try again.**

JACKSON RED

Better. Well, at least it's better than Victoria fucking Secret.

**Jackson: Examine room.**

Nah, not right now. You're just going to sit in your chair and scroll down the list of videos and try to find something decent. But alas, no one has posted anything good recently. A wave of disappointment crashes into you, and suddenly you remember why you hate being antisocial, yet you just can't seem to talk to anyone. Pesterchum gives off a notification, and it appears that someone is messaging you.

**Jackson: Answer chum.**

flippinBeggar [FB] began pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 17:05

FB: hello friend! :3

ID: hello, mistress of emoticons

ID: hows it hanging

FB: nothing is hanging

FB: everything is on the ground and is not hanging from suspended appendages

ID: you take things way too literally

FB: i know :P

ID: so, why are you pestering me on this wonderful day

FB: no reason

FB: just want to talk, you know :D

ID: sort of

FB: oh wait, gotta go

FB: ceb's acting up

ID: ceb? as in ceberus?

ID: that fucking devilbeast you keep in your garage?

FB: i dont keep him in my garage

FB: but yes, ceberus

FB: bye

flippinBeggar [FB] ceased pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 17:09

**Jackson: Fart like a robot and break dance on the rooftop.**

Robots don't fart. And besides, you have no idea how to break dance. At least, that's what you like to imply. *Wink* You can actually break dance, but really badly

**Jackson: Become Jason, and reveal what has happened to our brave hero!**

Um…okay. Just as long as you get donuts for the extra effort.

**Reader: Become Jason.**

In the blink of an eye, you become Jason again. Holy shit was it cramped in that fucked up Jackson kid, I mean, really.

**Jason: Examine your surroundings.**

There isn't really much to examine. You're still in your house.

**Jason: Then examine the strange green light coming from the window.**

You walk over to the window and peer out of it, only to discover that some goddamn impish creature is shining a bright green light through the window. But as you look past him, you see a rough landscape of large gray mountains with great big neon green blotches all over the sides. And, looking upwards, there is a sky filled with brightly covered shimmering auroras. Now, as you turn your attention back to the imp creature, he holds up a poorly made cardboard sign that reads 'Welcome to the Land of Uranium and Auroras! (Also known as LOUAA.)' What a fucking moron.

**Jason: Kill the imp thing.**

You can't. He is outside, and you are inside of your house, dumbass. Instead you move to your computer and pester Alayna. As you do so, the reader moves back to Earth, to be Alayna once again.

**Alayna: Get interrupted.**

God damn you Pesterchum! You were just on a 15-kill streak and you were about to pwn all of those fucking noobs! You swear to Jesus H. fucking Christ if Pesterchum does that one more time, you'll…hold on a minute. It's Jason, the man rising back from the dead. It's JASON, the MAN, you believe that you LIKE in a NON-PLATONIC FASHION. And author, stop with the caps lock.

**Alayna: Answer him immediately.**

You immediately answer him in the most immediate fashion in which you know how to immediately answer someone in.

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 18:02.

MC: Heyo.

HP: Jason. I'm going to ask this in the calmest tone possible. WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN GO KNAFF OFF, FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT, AND THEN COME BACK AND SAY "HEYO?"

MC: The fact that I am, in fact, mentally challenged, in ways that you cannot possibly comprehend. I got your last message by the way.

HP: Oh really? What did you think?

MC: Very touching, kind of hilarious, and very sappy all at the same time, but that's beside the point. I have arrived at a place known as the Land of Uranium and Auroras. I believe that this is the first real stage of the game. My house is here as well, and it is completely unscathed.

HP: What the hell? I thought that meteor blew your house into next month's real estate website.

MC: As did I, initially. But then I soon discovered that I was not dead, and nothing had exploded. But, there is something important that I found while I was waiting for you to respond.

HP: And what might that be?

MC: The imp outside my window has a cake. But the cake is a lie.

HP: Okay, sudden Internet meme shit alert. What significance could that damn meme possibly hold in a situation like this?

MC: The cake is many things. A lie, a superstition, and a bomb.

HP: A bomb?

MC: Yes, a bomb. I think that imp wants to blow something up, and his most likely target is me.

MC: I'm gonna go take care of some stuff, be right back.

mentallyChallegned [MC] ceased pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 18:10.

**Jason: Make haste to the living room!**


End file.
